To be a good mother, partner, friend, work mate we must give, right? We don’t just give a little we just keep giving and for many it is a mark of a good person. “It’s better to give than receive” as the adage goes. As women, we can be particularly bad at receiving.
There is no surprise that the emotional bank that gives but takes no deposits simply runs dry. I come across this on a daily basis where we over-give, and become emotionally and physically drained. We honestly find it hard to give ourselves permission to receive. The “have it all” mantra and being an overachieving superwoman is addictive. Over-working ourselves into a state of emotional and physical exhaustion is simply not smart. Giving to others is a good and loving act but giving of ourselves to the point of sacrificing our own happiness, health and wealth is not loving or healthy. It sets up a catalogue of self-destructive fall out.
So how can we shift our internal mindset to enable us to take care of our loved ones, the work we love and take care of ourselves too. One simple way is to embrace a slightly new take on life, “It’s better to give and receive”. If we give ourselves the time and energy that feeds our soul we can get off the track of self-sabotage and burn out. Perhaps you are ready to start putting back into your emotional bank and rediscover who you are in this world.
Pam Custers is an experienced therapist working with individuals, couples and families. Her clients are successful individuals who value her unique approach. She is accredited MBACP. MA. BA (Psych) Hons and is a RELATE trained and registered counsellor.
Contact 07572 841 388 www.pamcusters.co.uk