Individual & Relationship Counselling. Wimbledon - Kingston Upon Thames - Putney - Surbiton


relationships

Choose your counsellor wisely!

So you are experiencing some problems in your marriage and you have decided that it would be useful to have some couples counselling. This is may be a turning point in your relationship. Deciding on who you are happy to work with and trust is imperative. Finding a well trained and accredited therapist who has experience is key to the process being useful.

Therapist are trained to ask questions but here are some questions you need to ask and why. Is your therapist experienced and trained in couples counselling? Counsellors sadly are not all made equal and the term is not protected. Couples counselling is a complex process and can derail a relationship if done by an inexperienced therapist. A week end work shop is not the same as a three year masters degree. Not all counsellors are trained specifically in relationship counselling. Ask how long the training took place months or years?

Is your counsellor accredited? This is not the same as a membership to an organisation indeed that can often just be a yearly subscription. Key is the word accredited (accred) which means a rigorous process of examination has been passed and compliance to a range of ethical procedures are well and truly in place.

So before you launch yourself into a process that can either be the making or breaking of your most cherished relationship ask these two vital questions. Are you accredited and how long was your training specifically in couples/relationship counselling.

I welcome you to contact me to have this important conversation so that you can make the right decision that can impact so significantly on your future.

Who would benefit from relationship therapy?

From the time we take our first breath we are relational in nature. Relationships are vital for our wellbeing and happiness. I work with all relationships including those that are seeking one. I work with people who are stressed anxious or isolated. Couples who are perhaps no longer communicating or are feeling like the relationship is falling into a rut or perhaps need to resolve bigger issues around infidelity, money or children. Families who are going through a divorce. When we are feeling good about our relationships we are able to manage life’s stresses better.

How rewarding is relationship therapy?

That is often a question in the minds of people who are about to start couple therapy. Starting therapy is daunting. Most comment how much calmer they feel after the first session. My role is to keep in mind what it is that the couple wish to achieve and from that point remain on the side of the relationship and which enables me to remain neutral, find the strengths and develop meaningful communication. The vast majority of my clients find the rewards are great and often remark that they wish they had come earlier.

What would you say is key to making a good relationship?

Gosh! Well how long have you got. I think key to having a healthy fulfilling relationship is having the ability to negotiate difference. What I mean by that is that often we are not very good about communicating nor negotiating our needs to be met. Our partners are often very different (and difference is good in a relationship) but we have often not got the skills to negotiate what is in the best interest for the relationship. People are often fearful that it will take huge shifts and changes to get a relationship back on track. In my experience it often requires small but important changes that make a big impact.

How do you work?

I work with clients at my practice in Wimbledon. I also run a very successful workshops for people who wish to enhance their emotional wellbeing.

What is relationship therapy?

In April 2014 I was invited to contribute an article to Darling magazine on relationship therapy, which you can find here within the online copy of the magazine. I am continuing my relationship with the magazine over the coming months so have a look out for my articles in upcoming issues!