It was towards the end of a session with a couple whose relationship had turned around, grown and found its Mojo. Occasional sessions are affirming, not only for them but for me. It keeps me ever mindful that working with people to make meaningful changes is very rewarding—if not life changing.
We were about to say goodbye when the woman asked “What would you say is the most important thing to know before starting a marriage?”
There are as many answers as their are relationships. If we go beyond love, respect and regard to something a little more gritty, it is the ability to embrace difference in a relationship. Not that we are different from our partner—that is a given—but how, as a couple, we negotiate that difference. Understanding how and more importantly why.
“Negotiating difference!” I answered with a smile. They laughed knowingly.